Yes, in theory it makes sense that being on top lets your clit get more stimulation, but if that angle just isn’t happening for you, you’ve got options. To find that sweet spot, Martin suggests moving your body forward and back very slowly, and left to right, to see if you can notice and slight differences in sensation. Basically, troubleshoot!
It’s no surprise that being on top exerts a liiiiiiittle more energy than just lying there and noticing all the cracks in your ceiling. Martin counsels that you can always slow way down but adds, “The biggest thing is to remember to breathe. If you’ve ever done intensive workouts, you can go much farther and longer if you breathe deeply. This will seem totally natural since people tend to breathe much more intensively during s*x.” Deep inhales and exhales can help you focus on sensation and not become exhausted so quickly.
You’ve got other choices! For one, you can swing your way into reverse cowgirl, which Martin suggests can be “hugely liberating.” This is basically staying on top of the man-hood, but leaning on your forearms, or sitting up, facing his toes instead of his face.
There are tons of other benefits to getting on top that you might not have realized. “s*x is very psychological, and for women to experience their deepest orgasms, there are parts of their brain that need to go silent that have to do with judgement and control,” says Martin. When you’re on your back, you might actually be more caught up in your head but when you’re on top, you’re forced to concentrate more on the physical act, which can help you really let go.
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